100 Christmas Jokes for the Festive Season

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If you are looking for the funniest Christmas jokes to share with friends or family, we have the best and funniest options for you right here.

Christmas is a time of joy, celebration, and merriment. Along with exchanging gifts, enjoying delicious Christmas feasts, and spending time with loved ones, people often indulge in the tradition of telling Christmas jokes. But what is it about these jokes that makes them so amusing? From classic one-liners to witty puns, Xmas jokes have a unique quality that elicits laughter and spreads holiday cheer. In this article, we list our favourite Christmas jokes for your next festive celebrations.

Why do people tell Christmas jokes?

People tell Christmas jokes for a variety of reasons. For some, it is a way to break the ice and lighten the mood during holiday gatherings. Christmas can be a stressful time of year, with shopping, decorating, and cooking adding to the usual daily routine. A good joke can provide a moment of levity and help people relax and enjoy the moment. Additionally, Christmas jokes are a way to share in the holiday spirit and connect with others.

They are a form of social currency that can help build relationships and create shared experiences. We think our list of Christmas jokes are a great opportunity for a fun and lighthearted way to celebrate the season and spread joy and laughter to those around us.

Here are our favourite 100 Christmas jokes:

50 Christmas jokes just for laughs

1. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
2. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
3. What do you call a snowman party? A snowball.
4. Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly.
5. What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? Nice gnawing you.
6. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
7. What’s Santa’s favorite pizza? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
8. Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.
9. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
10. What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
11. What did one Christmas light say to the other? You light up my life.
12. Why does Santa have a garden? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
13. What did the grape say to the raisin on Christmas? “Have a very grape holiday.”
14. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? He had low “elf-esteem.”
15. What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pineapple.
16. What do you call a cat on Christmas? Santa Claws.
17. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.
18. Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
19. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells.
20. What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.
21. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? To buy some holiday spirits.
22. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No L.
23. Why don’t you ever see Santa Claus in hospital? Because he has private elf care.
24. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
25. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis.
26. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy.
27. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
28. How do you know if Santa Claus has been in your garden shed? You’ll have three extra hoes.
29. What did the big flower say to the little flower on Christmas Day? Merry Christmas, bud!
30. Why does Santa have a garden? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
31. Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.
32. What do you call Santa when he’s not feeling well? Santa Jaws.
33. What’s Santa’s favorite pizza? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
34. What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pineapple.
35. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
36. Why did Santa Claus take a break from delivering presents? He was Claus-trophobic.
37. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
38. What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells.
39. What do you call a cat on Christmas? Santa Claws.
40. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.
41. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? To buy some holiday spirits.
42. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis.
43. Why did Santa’s little helper go to school? To learn how to wrap presents.
44. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
45. Why does Rudolph have a red nose? Because he’s too embarrassed to have a green one.
46. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to be trimmed.
47. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
48. What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? Nice gnawing you.
49. What do you call a kid who won’t sit still on Christmas Eve? A Christmas restive.
50. Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it soots him.

50 more Christmas jokes

1. Why did the snowman refuse to wear a scarf? He was already neck-deep in trouble.
2. How does Santa keep track of all the elves? With his “elf”-esteem journal.
3. Why did Santa’s reindeer go to school? To learn how to fly and re-deer-ect their skills.
4. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A PinePad.
5. What did one Christmas light say to the other when they got tangled? You have a bulbous personality.
6. Why did the turkey refuse to eat on Christmas Day? Because it was already stuffed.
7. Why did Santa Claus go to the doctor? He had a bad case of Claus-trophobia.
8. What did the snowman say to the carrot nose? “I nose you before, but now you’re cool!”
9. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? “You really bulb me over.”
10. What did one Christmas card say to the other? “Let’s hang out together.”
11. Why did the Grinch refuse to change a light bulb? Because he preferred to stay in the dark.
12. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a ninja? Frosty the Snow Ninja.
13. Why did the Christmas cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.
14. What’s Santa’s favorite type of food? Mistle-toast.
15. Why did Santa Claus go to therapy? To work on his elf-esteem issues.
16. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with a piano? A yule-a-lin.
17. Why did the Grinch go to the beach? To see if the sand was greener on the other side.
18. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a clown? Frosty the Snow Clown.
19. What do you get when you cross a reindeer and a bumblebee? A jingle bee.
20. Why did the Christmas tree refuse to leave the house? It had no trunk to pack its belongings.
21. What do you call a group of elves that sing carols? The jingle-jangle choir.
22. Why did the Grinch refuse to decorate the Christmas tree? He didn’t want to pine over it.
23. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with a gingerbread house? A ginger-spruce.
24. Why did Santa’s reindeer refuse to work overtime? They were already “deerly” exhausted.
25. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a chef? Frosty the Snow Chef.
26. Why did Santa Claus go on a diet? He was tired of being called “bowl-full-of-jelly” by Mrs. Claus.
27. What do you call a Christmas card from a dinosaur? A dinomite greeting.
28. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a construction worker? Frosty the Snow Builder.
29. Why did the Christmas tree have a bad hair day? It was knotty.
30. What do you call Santa’s favorite vegetable? Candy-canes-turnips.
31. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with a vacuum cleaner? A pine-cleaner.
32. Why did the Grinch refuse to do any Christmas shopping? He was allergic to the stores.
33. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Chill out, man.”
34. Why did Santa Claus refuse to take a selfie? He didn’t want to elf-destruct his image.
35. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a farmer? Frosty the Snow
36. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crummy.
37. What do you call an elf that can do karate? Santa’s little kick.
38. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
39. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf-esteem.
40. Why don’t snowmen like to go on vacation? They always end up getting a little too melty.
41. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker? Frosty the Dough-man.
42. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
43. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.
44. What did Santa say to the reindeer before they took off on Christmas Eve? “It’s time to hoof it!”
45. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and a pig? A porky-pine!
46. Why did Santa’s helper go to school? To learn how to wrap presents.
47. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? “Quit hanging around, will you?”
48. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Can you smell carrot?”
49. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!
50. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face!”

READ NEXT: How to Host a Christmas Movie Marathon with Themed Snacks, or Christmas Movie Trivia or Christmas Songs Trivia.

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